Most relationships fail because of everyday misunderstandings, not big betrayals. Scott’s Practical Empathy Practice teaches you to understand your own feelings first.
The story
You know what wrecks most relationships? It’s not big betrayals or dramatic fights. It’s the everyday stuff – feeling misunderstood, getting defensive, or silently resenting someone because you can’t figure out how to say what you actually need.
The problem is we’re never taught how to communicate in a way that actually works. We fake niceness, avoid conflict, or blow up when we’ve had enough. And underneath it all, we don’t really understand our own feelings well enough to explain them to anyone else.
Scott’s Practical Empathy Practice flips this. It starts with you – getting clear on what you’re actually feeling and needing. Not so you can navel-gaze, but so you can show up in conversations without all the defensiveness and confusion.
Here’s the shift: PEP teaches you to accept other people’s feelings without agreeing with them. Someone’s mad you ate the last piece of cake? Instead of getting defensive or dismissing them, you can say, “You’re disappointed because you value thoughtfulness, right?” That’s not weakness. That’s clarity.
And it works both ways. When you understand your own needs, you stop saying “I can’t” when you mean “I choose not to.” You set boundaries without the guilt or weirdness.
Swain gives you actual exercises – not fluffy advice – to practice this stuff in real conversations. It’s about rewiring how you relate to people, one interaction at a time.
Chapter 1 of “A Practical EmPath: Rewire Your Mind” walks you through the framework and gets you started. If you’re tired of relationships feeling harder than they should, this is where you begin.
