Chapter 16 of *A Practical EmPath* shows how strategic empathy helps you manage conflict better—separate facts from stories, steel-man arguments, and calm your nervous system.
The story
When rivals show up, my brain drops frames,
I want to win the whole loud fight,
Then PEP whispers, “Observe, don’t blame names,”
So my nervous system can sleep at night.
If “enemy empathy” sounds like volunteering for a root canal, Chapter 16 of *A Practical EmPath: Rewire Your Mind* by Scott Howard Swain makes a sneaky case: *strategic empathy* is for your benefit. Less self-inflicted stress, more usable clarity, and sometimes, an adversary who stops acting like an adversary.
🟢 The nerdy move: separate facts from story
Perspective-taking starts like a debug log: “George said I was lying.” Observation, not verdict. Then you can guess what might be under it, annoyance, vulnerability, fear, and stop feeding the conflict with fantasy DLC.
🟢 Steel-man like a superman
Instead of dunking on the weakest version of their argument, you build their strongest one, fairly. Weirdly, that often reveals shared values and common ground, even when you still disagree.
🟢 A simple communication flow
Observation. Guess feelings, “afraid, tense.” Link to values, “respect, safety.” Then a positive request, “Would you drink more water?” No evaluation required.
Best part: Scott points to self-empathy first, so your inner world isn’t a dumpster fire before the conversation begins. Practice PEP like lifting weights, reps rewire the mind toward automatic empathy and peace, even in holiday-level drama.
If you want tools for turning foes into functional humans in your life, go read Chapter 16.
