Leaders stuck on emotional empathy flood themselves with stress while missing what people actually think until it’s too late.
The story
Holiday season at work: advent calendars in the break room, silent resentment in the all-hands.
Problem:
Most leaders are still running on “be nice and power through” emotional empathy.
Result?
– You get flooded by everyone’s stress.
– Your own decisions get fuzzy.
– People still don’t feel understood… just managed.
Meanwhile, you’re stuck in a leadership bubble where:
– Bad news gets sugarcoated,
– Dissent gets quiet,
– And you only find out what people *really* thought after the project blows up.
Solution: cognitive empathy.
Not “feel everyone’s feelings.”
Understand how they *see* the situation:
– How will this re-org land with ops vs. finance?
– What will investors hear in this earnings call?
– What are customers afraid you’re not saying?
Cognitive empathy lets you:
– Anticipate reactions before you hit send.
– Stay objective in conflict and negotiation.
– Break down silos by actually grasping other functions’ realities.
– Communicate change so people feel informed, not ambushed.
Clinical: perspective-taking that sharpens judgment.
Street: “Ohhh, right, *that’s* why they’re freaking out… here’s how I’ll speak to it.”
Scott unpacks this in Chapter 18 of *A Practical EmPath: Rewire Your Mind*—how to build a “shapeable point of view” that’s clear, principled, and still open to challenge.
If you’d like this year’s countdown to be more alignment, less drama:
Use your advent calendar for chocolate.
Use Chapter 18 for cognitive empathy.
